ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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