Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
