Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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