After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
