My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
