the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
