i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's rum buckets o'clock
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
