Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
