Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Randomize
