yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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