she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
