she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He better not be in your backpack
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
