There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my sisters under your porch take her home
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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