her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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