I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
