Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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