Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I touched a dick in church today
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