We're facebook friends in real life
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
