It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im holly from the hills drunk
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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