Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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