dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
