Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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