Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
