And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
