I just saw a hot homeless man
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
