Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
