i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
