He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
