operation have a gay friend backfired
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
