Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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