I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
