never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
