She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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