well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
