May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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