i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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