Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
