ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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