he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
