turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
