I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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