i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
