i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
