I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
