My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
