i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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