just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
