last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
