Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
