Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
