so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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