Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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